I have now realised that if i want to be sane i need to keep my mind occupied . I am literally just trying trying to get to the next day . According to her , i play victim after the chaos i creates . NVM. One day i am so happy planning future and very next moment i am sad , alone and afraid . I am an over thinker . I am used to this feeling ,feeling of breaking down . I cant blame anyone . I wanted to turn this older to party at 4am night , not to cry and overthink . I miss you always, like you are a fictional character from a movie or from some book , i can hear your voice i can see you but cant touch you . I get sad thinking about nobody ,even you wont notice these things . The things which make me , me .  

I am not always sad . She is there to make me happy also but i am just not good at writing about good and happy parts . I’ll always love you. šŸ’š


Are independent people developed and generous people stupid?

Why is kindness taken as weakness ? 
Kindness is a way of life . But it doesn’t always work for me , ends with messing things up . Kindness doesn’t mean obliging always.  

Every interaction leaves a mark . For instance , most of the people around me used to say things about my dark face , they used to call it ugly and…. . Yes i am not good looking or wanted so i want to be kind instead . We all have a heart so precious .   

It’s so uncool to be mean and rude . According to such , kindness is a easy way out . But its so hard so hard to be kind in this harsh world . It is not easy to be kind every time , there is a limit to ‘how much you can take ‘ . Sometimes its so hard that you just cut off the kindness . Sometimes i say something rude and regret it instantly. 

Negativity is an easy game to join which keeps on growing . 

The only thing left to loseĀ 

3:30 A.M –  Thanks to disturbing nightmare . I am again awake . I keep thinking and thinking . I realise i am lost ,something is missing . 

3:46 A.M- Trying to sleep again . 


4 A.M – Talking to my own reflection standing in front of the mirror . A part of me is missing . I am not myself anymore . Keep telling myself , we are enough to feed us with every support . Gets an answer , she is the one he most needs . He loves looking up to the sky . Goes out , standing in cold with nothing but hope to get something he loves . Still hoping for a change . Keeps looking at the moon with a blurry vision just like his dreams . The moon shining more brighter than every last night just like  she is more beautiful now in his eyes everytime he meets her , still perfect everytime . He needs her now and his fear of losing her ,follows him by his tears . Walks back to the room . 

4:27 A.M-  No you can’t hear me cry , see my dreams all die . My aching body fell to the bed . Wraps myself around a blanket . Freezing . Still missing her , recalling every memory when he was happy . Lost is the word i can use for myself  because the only thing left to lose is ‘hope’ now . 

5:11 A.M – Tries to sleep again . I dont know what to do anymore ,staring at the ceiling to figure my life out . So much overthinking and still no answer to my problems . This house no longer feels like home . 
9:17 A.M –  Wakes up with a decision to care less so it hurts less . To get himself back to him again . 

Note to such 3 AM’s ,4AM’s and 5AM’s thoughts –  Stop meeting me this way , i would love to sleep . 

This time she is a virgo . šŸ’š

Freedom šŸ„

Life . Life is too precious and we cant waste it being average . We just need courage to follow our dreams . We only live once so we should use our life the best we can . Living an average life means we are trapped and are not doing what we want to .  

Where do we start ? The world is full of lies . We should take risks and do mistakes . Mistakes always make us better . We learn from mistakes . 

Good self reflection is important . Respect yourself . Following the crowd won’t get you to new place . If you want to explore new ,you have to be lost . We can’t waste our lives doing the  same thing everyday . Treat your day with something not so normal and ordinary , appreciate you are given one more day to live . Lets just not waste it like every . There are 3 things we can do – the right ones ,the safe ones and the ones which make us happy . What do we care about ? Everyone cares about something different . Life is all about taking risks . If you dont take risk and always play safe , you are gonna regret it at the end . Right things are not always gonna make you happy so its okay to do wrong sometimes to be happy . Choices . Choices what we make should be done very carefully . It can change our life completely . Pretend . Sometimes we pretend to be happy doing something we dont want to because we gave up on the things we actually want to thinking they are not in our reach . We need to set a goal and never give up on it until we reach it to stop living a mediocre life . A great life . Everybody wants to have a great life . Waking up every morning and do something new . Practically not everything is possible . But if your dream is not in your reach and you cant do anything about it . Then build a new dream so that you dont have to live an average life . 

Keep trying . Keep working . Never give up on your dreams . If you’re good enough for something , you are gonna achieve it for sure . 

Nothing is approved as mediocrity,the majority has estabilished it fixes is fangs on whatever gets beyond it either way ~ Blaise Pascal 

Past life obsessionĀ 

Hey guys How are you ? I hope you all are good and happy . So here is something for you to read or maybe to make you smile a bit .

I’ll be posting lots of blogs in next 6 months ,at least once in a week . 

So here is a very relatable piece that might happened with you . Keep reading . 
Two different personalities , one was introvert and the other completely a loud mystery . It begun  with something beautiful and ended up in obsession. 

Obsession , its nothing big but about a personal struggle . Love . I thought it was love because it chose me ,never knew it was obsession . It was unhealthy , when my whole mood lied in the hands of her . It took me down more than i thought . I started to get obsessed with her because everything she did was so flawless through my eyes which was not the reality . I regret everything because it all of a sudden just consumed me and my soul just belonged to her . Its impact on my mental health were bad . Obsession is more than enough to destroy anything as it did . I wanted to know every little detail about her life. Always kept her photos in my phone because it all seemed so perfect through my eyes. I used to screen capture her snapchat stories so that i wont miss them after 24 hours when they disappear. Captured her always in my camera when with her ,never knew its all gonna be just some memories .  

But actually 

We don’t need to get obsessed with anyone . There is always someone better . World is full of better humans . Maybe we are just stopping ourselves from a whole new level of happiness when being obsessed with someone . Don’t let the fear of losing someone scare you . Don’t let the reason for your happiness become a reason for pain . Whatever which is meant to stay is gonna stay . šŸ™‚

Sorry if anything sounded biased . It was written based on something i dealt with . 

Know Me šŸ€

  • I care too much .
  • I don’t sleep .
  • I listen to music too loud .
  • I ‘m scared of being forgotten .
  • I believe in having few close friends .
  • I ‘m not good looking but i have a very caring heart .
  • I forgive people not because they deserve to be but because i need them .
  • I put other’s people happiness before mine .
  • I ‘m tired of people letting me down everytime i show faith in them .
  • I am so so terrible at making decisions .
  • I am poor at giving titles to my writings šŸ˜‚

Drunk in love šŸ’™

I’ve been drinking, I’ve been drinking

I get filthy when that liquor get into me
I’ve been thinking, I’ve been thinking
Why can’t I keep my fingers off it, baby?

I want you, na na
Why can’t I keep my fingers off it, baby?
I want you, na na.   


Being in love and being drunk are actually pretty much the same thing . That is why many people drink when they are in love because there effects are very much the same . 
We can relate them both in many ways . We can note the link between love and alcohol . Love and alcohol both make us feel happy , invulnerable and filled with sadness once alcohol effect is gone and love goes away .  
Many people drink when there love goes away , when they are depressed , drink when they love someone so badly and cant reach them . But alcoholism and depression , they seem like two different conditions but one may lead to the other . When someone is depressed , they drink alcohol to feel better and on the other hand with the dependence of alcohol , one can become depressed . So we can say both are related . Many people drink to feel some love . 
Being in love will take you to drink alcohol . We feel better when we drink when we are crazy in love with someone . But both love and alcohol if misplaced could be dangerous . 

So basically , love and alcohol can be very dangerous things , as Beyonce foretold . 



Torpid scorpioĀ 

In the universe of mindless thoughts I feel vanished 

There are many things to do 

Will to do nothing 

Just lying here on my bed 

Thinking of what all i said 

To her and my friends 

To my sisters and my parents 

Indolence owns me 
As i hold onto my phone 

Thinking about the town called paradise 

Lying here on bed , alone 

Everyone leaves or is busy 

I have many things to do 

But indolence owns me 

I’ll do it tomorrow , i tell myself 

I’ll do it tomorrow , i promise myself . 

Blessed šŸŒ¹

Sometimes , we are afraid to say what we want to . We are afraid to ask what we want from someone .

We are afraid because our assumptions stop us .

That is the time when assumptions and our instincts make us blind , we can’t see clearly . I am not saying , dont believe your instincts .

Being the way you really are can make you extra-ordinary. 

Love , life and friendship are soul searching .

Hold your breathe , close your eyes and listen to good music . Don’t make you sad because of what happened earlier . With your closed eyes , think your life from another angle . You will get to know that your life is still better and how blessed you are.
What you’ve got is someone wishing for .

So many people are wishing for the things that are normal for you but for them they are rare .